I thought I’d have to escape the ecosystem that devoured me. But Jesus raised me right here — in the place I once begged to die.
There was a time I believed I could never heal unless I escaped.
That the land was cursed. That the house was haunted.
That every breath I took in this place was still inside the walls of captivity no one else could see.
After postpartum terror, I developed agoraphobia so consuming
that even the air felt dangerous.
My nervous system didn’t just collapse —
it braced for extinction.
I begged Jesus to let me go home to Heaven.
I didn’t ask for resurrection. I didn’t think it was possible.
Not here. Not in this atmosphere. Not where they held me hostage
in His name.
But He stayed.
And then —
He breathed.
Seven breaths.
Twice.
In one week.
Not in a sanctuary across the country.
Not in a new home far from the old war grounds.
But right here —
in the rooms where I once collapsed,
in the air that once made me tremble,
in the exact place where I believed
freedom was somewhere else.
This is not exile anymore.
This is not wilderness anymore.
This is resurrection ground.
I am rising in the place
where they once fed on me.
Where I once begged for death.
Where my nervous system lived in a constant brace
just to survive the atmosphere.
And now?
There is peace.
There is space.
There is no more urgency to flee.
I don’t know if I’ll ever move.
But I’m not running.
Because Jesus found me first.
He didn’t need to rescue me from the place to begin my resurrection —
He resurrected me in it.
Right here. Where the grief lived.
Where the terror rose.
Where I once thought I’d never breathe again.
Where I didn’t think I’d make it through.
He sealed the chambers.
He cleared the air.
He filled my lungs with breath again.
With His breath.
And now, I rise in place.
Not waiting for the escape.
Living the miracle.
Home inside my own body.
Safe inside my cells for the first time
in my life.
This is resurrection in real-time.
This is Incarnatational Neurodivergence.
This is Isaiah lived and breathed.
We are starting a new series in the sister
sanctuary —
The Gentle Rise —
where Isaiah comes alive in real-time
and resurrection meets real bodies, breath by
breath.
Because Jesus still does.
The Gentle Rise 