Choosing the Right Kind of Help: Why Licensed Therapy Matters for Trauma Healing
Not all help is the same. Some care heals. Some care harms.
For a trauma survivor, the difference can mean recovery or retraumatization.
I know this not from theory — but because I lived it. For nearly a decade, I remained in harmful “healing” circles, believing I was being cared for, when in truth, my wounds were being reopened.
I am a trained biblical counselor and certified mental health coach with a specialization in crisis and trauma. I know the good these roles can offer — and I also know where their limits can cause profound harm when used beyond their scope.
The biblical counselor who influenced me claimed trauma expertise without the clinical training to truly protect. My suffering would not have gone on for years — almost a decade — if I had received the proper care early on.
This is why I am so passionate about this Healing Tool. It goes to the heart of my Tending Wounds Tuesday series — because naming the wound is often the first step in breaking free from it.
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Three Main Types of Support
In the world of faith and mental health, three forms of care are often confused — yet they serve very different purposes and have very different boundaries. Understanding these differences can protect survivors from further harm.
1. Licensed Therapy
Provided by professionals with graduate-level education, clinical training, and state licensure. They are equipped to treat mental health conditions, process trauma safely, and follow ethical guidelines designed to protect clients.
2. Biblical Counseling
A faith-based approach rooted in Scripture, often provided within church contexts. While it may offer spiritual encouragement, it lacks the clinical training necessary for complex trauma care. Without proper boundaries, it can unintentionally cause harm by spiritualizing or minimizing symptoms.
3. Life or Mental Health Coaching
Coaching focuses on goals, personal growth, and forward movement. While it can be valuable for motivation and clarity, it is not a substitute for therapy and should not attempt to process deep trauma.
Each of these has its place. The danger comes when one is substituted for another, especially when complex trauma is involved.
Why It Matters for Survivors
When you’ve been wounded in spiritual spaces, finding safe help is more than a preference — it’s protection. The wrong kind of care can unknowingly reopen wounds or delay true healing. For complex trauma survivors like myself, the wrong kind of care isn’t just unhelpful — it can be dangerous, even life-threatening. My suffering would not have stretched on for years — almost a decade — if had received proper care early on. I care deeply that other survivors never have to wait that long — that they have the tools and the information to make wise, autonomous decisions away from their place of harm.
My Story
For six years, I was spiritually homeless, tethered only to a small circle of women from the in-house biblical counseling arm of the Church of Our Harm. They were my friends, my only source of support, and in one case, my boss. This circle also included a Women’s Ministry Leader I served alongside in a volunteer role, and a Bible Study Leader under whom I sat — an older widow who carried influence in the church and, for a time, became a spiritual mother to me. There was no care from the broader church for my family. We were told not to speak of what happened so as not to be “divisive.” I languished in isolation, being told again and again that “things were changing on the inside” by the circle I trusted.
When I eventually returned, hoping for a biblical restoration process — something no trauma survivor should be pressured to attempt — I did so under internal pressure to stop the pain. The leadership did not ask me back. I wanted to heal, to come with a pure heart and regain my community. My hope was fueled in part by this same circle assuring me that change had come.
But when I went back, I was treated like the abuser — DARVOed — and the truth became painfully clear: there had been no change. The abusive leadership had doubled down, even when I re-entered to make amends. I realized I had been fed lies and distortions for six years.
That realization triggered a breakdown so severe I almost needed hospitalization. In that lowest place, God whispered to my spirit:
“You don’t go to church to die.”
And that is when I began licensed therapy — breaking free from the insular, harmful version of “healing” I had known and slowly reattaching to the Real Jesus outside of that place of harm.
The wrong kind of care can unknowingly reopen wounds or dangerously delay true healing. For complex trauma survivors like myself, that delay can be life-threatening. I care deeply that survivors have the tools and information to make wise, autonomous decisions away from their place of harm.
This is why I am so passionate about this Healing Tool. And as with every Tending Wounds Tuesday, my hope is that this resource meets you with clarity, compassion, and the gentle presence of Real Jesus.
A Gentle Invitation
If you are struggling — please, pray to the Real Jesus… and seek licensed professional help. Even the smallest flicker of hope can burn bright again.
Want the Full Resource?
I’ve created a complete Healing Tool on this topic. You can view screenshots on my Healing Tools page. I’ve shared it there in two full-sized images so you can read it easily, save it, or share it with someone who might need it.
Blessing:
May your courage to reach for help be met with kindness.
May your nervous system soften in safety.
May your story be cradled in truth and love.
You are seen. You are safe. You are deeply loved.
With Love,
Raya
The Gentle Rise 