As we sit in the green pasture next to the riverbed, let’s dip our toes in the soothing Living water to find relief.
In the quiet ache of secondary infertility, I discovered that hope, identity, and grace are not lost – they are found in the God who redeems every story.
How does soaking in the reality God chose impotent men and barren women to carry the Fruit of His message to all future generations make you feel? Is this reality novel for you? Does it help you reframe how God sees you? Your value? Your worth?
Kristi adds, “When the living God was choosing whom He wanted to partner with to change the world, He chose [even in patriarchal antiquity] impotent men [Abraham, Isaac, Jacob] second-born sons [Abel not Cain, Isaac not Ishmael, Jacob not Esau] and barren women [Sarah, Rebekah, and Rachel].”
How does the fact God didn’t choose the likely, the ones blossoming with fertility to carry forth His ancient plans for the sacred Gospel message? Instead women and men culturally shunned, to change the world change your view? How can this Truth birth new hope and new life possibilities inside of you in the places that ache?
God, just one, we pray, together, now on the riverbank for this woman reading. We pray in Jesus Name. I want the desires of your heart. They are not wrong. Your identity, though, can not, must not rest on them. This, friend, is where it gets dangerous. The currents. We must, however torturous, find our True Identity in Him alone not tethered to the desires of our heart no matter how pure. I know this now. Our Identity does not come in the answers He gives. Our Identity comes from the One who gives no matter the answers that come. Selah.
In my own story I’ll share later, my reminders through endless days and nights of the soul, Jesus revealed over and over I was not, am not forsaken. Despite never having the joys of a rainbow baby filling my arms.
And, you dear loved one, are not either despite the cries of your womb.
God tells us in His Word, “I will remember my covenant between me and you and all living creatures of every kind. Whenever the rainbow appears in the clouds, I will see it and remember the everlasting covenant between God and all living creatures of every kind on the earth.” Genesis 9: 15-16
God keeps His promises.
Despite the rain, sometimes torrential, that threatens to wipe you out.
How amazing would it have been to have Kristi’s message then, “The biblical record tells us that you don’t have to be powerful in plenty, strong in might, or fertile in production for the Living God to choose you.” How I needed that message for my soul.
How does imagining this Truth affect your perception now? The lens through which you see yourself? And, the Living God who chooses you? Choosing you as you are not for what you can produce? Figuratively or Literally.
Can you ask God to touch the hurting places in your heart, your aching womb and fill your whole being with worth beyond what does or doesn’t come from conceiving on this earth? I do not ask this lightly having had myself been stuck in grief for years.
Simply, can you open yourself up to not being defined by it? Letting God bring forth a new Life creation in your very heart filled with possibilities and purpose not defined by this world. Can you ask God to remove the shame of being seen as cursed? Seeing yourself as cursed? Claim it as a lie on your identity and cast it out. See your true Self as a beloved and cherished daughter of the King not defined by your womb. Sit with me a moment and take this gentle whisper in.
This, friend, is the work Jesus came to do. HIS FRUIT, His Spirit to FILL YOU to multiply the earth. The Gospel on the Ground. In all your encounters with Purpose in your heart.
Now let’s cast our eyes back to the moss, the flora, the tiny little creatures buzzing and teaming with life. Think of all we’d have missed if we’d taken the rapids with the rest of the crowd instead of setting up on the riverbank our pop tent to stay and ponder awhile His Truths.
I pray God’s Living Water gently washes over all your hurts and aches as you trust His promises to you and the great purposes He has for your life.
God never said, “I choose your womb.” Despite what the Patriarchy says.
You are His chosen daughters. He chooses You. Your Whole Being, Self. Exactly as you are for purposes beyond your wildest dreams you can’t imagine now.
Look for His rainbows wherever they may be no matter the storm clouds and search for His Light peeking through. He never leaves nor forsakes you. Take heart.
If you missed it, read Part One here.
Read my journey with infertility here.
Love,
Raya
The Gentle Rise 